


If Fan Fiction Was More Like Real Life...

by AndreaDTX



Series: What's Your Fantasy? [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 12:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13190424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaDTX/pseuds/AndreaDTX
Summary: ... or the one where reality ensues.I've written several explicit Wincest stories and, while it's fun, I'm always hyperaware of how far from canon compliant my versions of Sam and Dean are. This gave me an idea for a fluffy piece for how the dialogue might sound if the "real" Sam and Dean explored any of my Wincest ideas.





	If Fan Fiction Was More Like Real Life...

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at humor. Please don't throw tomatoes. 
> 
> Kudos and Constructive Comments always welcome. Comments make me feel like I'm not just yelling freaky shit into the abyss.
> 
> A/N: This is an older piece that I posted a while back, but it doesn't get many views since it's not connected to any of my series. Since it was actually inspired by this series, I decided to go ahead and toss it in.

1)  
“I didn’t drop you on purpose. Dude, you’re 6’4” and 230 pounds. My back tweaked and then my friggin’ legs went numb.”

2)  
“Here. Swish some water around. Don’t be such a baby.”  
“Ugh… I think I’m dying…”  
“Dean. Seriously. What did you think it was going to taste like? We’ve been in the car for three days straight and you were with me the whole time. When exactly did you think I ninja-ed a shower?”

3)  
“Whatever, Sammy. You’re supposed to cum when you feel the urge. Who intentionally goes up and down like that? That’s hot in porn maybe. In real life, it gives you blue balls and a stomach ache if you can even pull it off.”

4)  
“Great job, Francis. Now I need an ice pack.  
“Cas could heal it…”  
“Oh, yeah, great. Cas. Are you going to explain this to him, or am I? He’s still confused about what pizza men actually do during deliveries. What the hell made you think I could even bend that way?”

5)  
“What the fuck, Dean? You got it in my hair! Do you know how hard that is to get out of long hair?”

6)  
“How the hell was I supposed to know you’d already told him we’re brothers? Who the fuck told you to do that?”  
“Shut up and move. If I beat you to the car, I’m leaving you.”

7)  
“You’re so paying to replace that window.”  
“No, I’m not. You’re the one who wanted car sex. I warned you there was no way we could both be back there. The car’s too small.”  
“…don’t listen to him, Baby. It’s not your fault he’s a giant. You’re perfect. Always have been, always will be.”

8)  
“Why not?”  
“Because the last thing I want to do is condition my body to pop wood every time I get tied up or choked!”  
"You do get choked a lot..."

9)  
“Ow! The fuck? Get up and get lube or I will end you.”

10)  
“I know the whole ‘Spank me, Daddy’ thing is popular in that kinky anime porn stuff you like, but if you ever make me think of Dad during sex again, you and your hand are going to get sick of each other.”


End file.
